Within the past year, there has been an influx of people pushing this agenda of being a player, not caring about other people, being petty and more negative aspects that can destroy relationships. While most just might be for show for the Internet, it is very odd that people even want to co-sign this type of mindset. Many people say, “We’re getting too old to play games in relationships”, and while that is true, I believe we’re getting too old to not be building within relationships. No one can deny how much fun can come with a relationship like going on dates or traveling but if you can’t seem to stop the fun and make some money and life changing decisions together then…..what are you doing?! Everyone wants to be independent but we need to realize how much easier it is to come up with our partners. What is the point of being together for the rest of your lives if you can’t trust each other with finances? Why secure your own bag when you can secure double the bag? Below are tips on how to build with your partner while being young and in love.
Communication is KEY!
Communication being a key factor in a relationship is as old as time but somehow in the 21st century we still struggle with this. There is a difference between talking and communicating and most people aren’t doing the latter. To be fiscally responsible you have to understand what is happening around you first. You should be able to communicate with your partner what goals you both want to reach that don’t just have to be financially based. Most times in life we find if we are mastering the basics, the extras just flow in. Once you are able to understand each other, building becomes much easier.
Set Goals Together
It’s cool to have your own personal goals in life but once you are in a relationship, you have to set some together. It’s best to first write down five short-term goals and three long-term goals. Tackle those in a 3-2 ratio, write down two more short-terms and one more long-term and go from there. That way you are always on top of what you need to accomplish and nothing will get missed.
Build a “Box”
A moderate way to build each other up is by creating a “money box” and you can do this two ways. First, you can get say a shoe box and each week you both put a certain amount of money inside. It is easier to have a goal cap in mind so it becomes consistent. A second way you can do this is by matching money. If you come up with $500 and so does your partner, you collectively have $1,000. One of you takes that $1,000 and puts it into a savings. The next two weeks you do the same process over but it goes into the other person’s account. This way you are protecting each other’s money and no one will be tempted to spend. Doing this will help you to stack so much quicker. Just think how long it would take doing it alone.
Support Each Other Like Your Life Depends On It
….because your life does depend on it! You can’t accomplish much in life without backing or support and relationships are the same way. It seems like common sense but most people will get into relationships and start to worry about themselves and how only they are contributing . You should make each other accountable to pay attention to what the other has going on. If your partner has a business deal coming up, don’t let them do it alone. Even if it isn’t your interest, learn everything you can so you can help your partner be fully prepared. You can’t spend the rest of your lives together happily if you aren’t supportive.
Obtain and Maintain Great Credit and Equity
They never teach us in school how much credit scores can affect so much in life including committed relationships. If you have bad credit, it makes it hard to buy a car and house without needing a co-signer. Having a partner with great credit can help with this but that doesn’t mean to neglect your debt. If one of you is struggling, help the other to get out of the hole. The one climbing out also has to make sure the other doesn’t fall in (going back to support). If you want to build with someone and quickly, getting out of debt is a sure fire way to show you’re serious. If you both have no credit, research together the ways you can smartly build credit so that you look appealing to banks and companies. Renting a home screams short-term. If you really want to build (even if it’s rent/lease with option to BUY), make the move to get equity. This will build a solid foundation to whatever else you may want and need in life. You have a definite asset with ownership.
Keep Track of Expenses
Living day to day, it can be hard to keep track of how much you are spending. Especially if you are like me and spend most of your day out and about being tempted by food. This won’t help in the long run and definitely not in your relationship. Apps like Level Money, GoodBudget, Learnvest and others help to track spending. They also can tell you important factors like your credit score, daily spending, how much you can spend within a month, where to invest and more. They also have the function to send you text messages about your spending or accounts so it’s even easier to keep track. We all don’t carry around a balance book but we all carry a phone, so there’s no excuse.
Get Healthy! (Or Stay Healthy!)
Eating better, exercising, going vegan and etc. seems like a trend right now but it’s totally not! People are able to research what really goes into our Monsanto created food and we don’t have to settle for that anymore. There are so many healthier options for our body and many have opted to growing gardens to provide the best. It’s a fact that having someone alongside you on a health journey makes it easier to stay in that lifestyle. You motivate each other to keep going and there’s nothing better than looking and feeling amazing for your partner. It makes you both happier (and hornier) and who doesn’t want that? It makes you more keen and aware to what you need to accomplish also. Work out together, pick up yoga, cook together at least 3-4 times a week, go for a hike; basically do whatever it takes to keep your brains sharp and ready to chase dreams.
Be Obsessed With Each Other
No, not like Mariah Carey’s hit where you are stalking your partner but love each other like the world is against you. Love everyday like you will never see them again. Never take the day and time you spend together for granted. Treat each other as a blessing to life because that’s exactly what you should be. Showing your partner every day that they are the one for you builds trust. It is so much easier to get what you want and accomplish goals when there is a mutual understood bond of trust. You don’t want to end up alone because you simply couldn’t show gratitude for your significant other.
Never Hold a Grudge
Even best friends butt heads at times and it won’t be any different with your partner. That doesn’t mean you need to hold on to the hurt. If you do, you will constantly be finding a way to get back at them. This just gets in the way of building and going further. It’s not healthy for the relationship but also not for yourself. Holding grudges creates even more negative thoughts that don’t need to be there. It weakens your immune system and you can’t secure a bag if you aren’t feeling your best. Disagree if you must but move past it quickly and get back to loving each other.
While these are some fundamental beginnings of building while committing, relationships require a lot more time and attention. It can be very easy or hard, depending how you want to look at it and move, but I’m sure everyone wants to go the easy route. My advice plus your own instincts will help your relationship to strive.